Buying tickets

I haven't read very many comic books, approximately 0 (plus or minus 0) so far, so I don't know if there's a superhero with the superpower of falling asleep. But if there is, they owe YY a buttload of money for the adaptation. I've never seen anyone so gifted. She can fall asleep instantly whether she's tired from working 24 hour shift or just doesn't want to do what I order her to. I can push her over and she'll be asleep before she hits the floor. I can punch her in the face and she'll fall asleep, have a prescient nightmare and wake up in time to dodge the blow.

Not only does she fall asleep fast, but she sleeps more soundly than a pack of dead bears. The only thing that can consistently wake her up is pouring water on her (don't try this with packs of dead bears; Newton's 4th (and not surprisingly last) law says that 10% of dead bears are not actually dead), which I have to do any time I want her to brush her teeth.

This ticket to Thailand business was not fun at all. First YY researched:

click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click

And found a ticket. Then Gene tried to buy the ticket.

CLICK (Gene is a heavy clicker) fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail fail ("WTF! I didn't even click that time!") CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail

Then I decided to prove I was better than everyone else.

click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click cli.................WAIT!

And nearly bought a ticket with 1 stop through Hong Kong where YY is not allowed to go without a letter of recommendation from Chairman Mao. I think this pretty much ends the argument about whether Hong Kong is part of China or not.

After my tragic defeat, Gene clicked some more.

CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK (Gene is a heavy clicker) fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail CLICK fail done CLICK CLICK CLICK

...wait a second...scroll back 3 clicks...we're done! Amazing, sometimes you just never see it coming. And the moral of the story is: sometimes when you try really hard, you succeed by accident.

Going to Thailand to die

Mark gets out of bed, he trips over a strategically places shoe, he skids on a strategically placed bra, he spills into a split across two piles of strategically placed socks, he does an elbow freeze on a strategically placed thermos bottle, a head spin on a strategically placed kettle, a windmill around a strategically placed Macbook Pro and lands gracefully on a strategically placed chair. Crisis averted. Introducing the master of strategy...Yuan Yuan! And that is how you learn to be grateful for surviving each and every day, even if it's not always in one piece.


We're planning a 7-10 day trip to Thailand for mid-November, and since my parents aren't invited, I've started doing some research on where to go once we get to one of Thailand's airports (I've just learned that there is more than one and that Thailand and Bangkok are two slightly different things). Mostly "research" consists of looking at pretty pictures made in Photoshop of Koh This Beach and Phi That Resort (Koh = Phi = Photoshop in Thai), and saying "now if I only had a printer, I could print this picture out and just find it when I get there." But since I don't have a printer, I end up also researching How in addition to Where.

Some of the "directions" are completely useless. But some I can tell at first glance are going to be invaluable. Here's a diamond in the rough:

"[Going to Railay and Tonsai] From Ao Nang this is a very simple process. You talk to a boatman, identified by their numbered and coloured shirts..."

A most promising beginning that doesn't let you down:

"... who will tell you to buy a ticket from one of two booths on Ao Nang beach at 80B per person. When there are 8 people wishing to go you will be escorted to a longtail boat and captained around the dramatic limestone karst headland. You will arrive 15 minutes later, at Railay or Tonsai. If you are lucky, at high tide the boat arrives right on the beach, but if the tide is out then you will have to wade to the beach from 50 metres out. You will get at least your feet and calves, and possibly your bottom, wet."

Once you get past the style, you can see it for the information-rich nugget this is. Here's what I learned:

1. I'm going to have to review grade-school math and/or take an accountant with me.
2. I'm never getting to Ao Nang in a million years.
3. If I'm lucky and I do get to Ao Nang, my bottom will be wet when the tide brings my decomposing corpse to shore a few days and 15 minutes later.

Can't wait!