Restraining Order

Well, Yuan Yuan's parents are in town now so there's basically a restraining order against me. Yuan Yuan called me a few hours ago when her parents went to the bathroom, which was both hilarious and scary. How do we keep them going to the bathroom at the same time? If you have any ideas, by all means email me or comment.

Anyway, this might end up being a 30 day trial of the low-Yuan-Yuan diet, which is certainly something no-one's tried before...one of the very few things going for it. That is if I don't get broken up with instead, which seems to be in quite a high percentage of parallel universes at this juncture.

The rest of the world is still turning; I bought a chicken today and devoured half of it without even trying. Obviously there's a severe lack of genetic engineering going on this side of the Mississipi. I also made some pancakes for the first time in a year and a half. They turned out a little dense, and a couple didn't cook all the way through, which was pretty awesome actually. Pancake on the outside, creamy dough on the inside. Clap your hands if you believe in salmonella. You won't see any Chinese people clapping I can assure you.

New Year's is coming up, I might have to think of some good resolutions. Maybe my students will have some good ideas.

The Klemheist Knot:


image borrowed from animatedknots.com

I think after the 30 days are over I should review for a day or two.

Don't do it or you'll have to do it again

Haven't written regularly in a while and haven't gotten any complaints. Time to try the opposite again.

Demonstrated ability in a domestic environment is a very dangerous thing. When I was younger, I took care never attempt to do something myself that had previously been done for me. Take for example peeling apples. My Mom and Dad can peel in an apple in 4.3 and and 4.1 seconds respectively without so much as shedding a pint of blood. It takes me a good 45 seconds to a minute to perform the same feat with the same safety margin, something I would never know if I hadn't strayed from the rulebook of my younger smarter self. But one time, long long ago, in this very same galaxy, Mom and Dad were too busy to peel an apple for on-the-brink-of-starvation Mark and offered him to try it himself with perhaps a "betcha can't do it!" for extra deceit points. And little Mark swallowed the poison pill, smashed the glass, took up the axe, and separated the peel (along with 90% of the apple) from the meat. And Mom and Dad said "Wow! Congratulations! Now you can do it yourself every time!"

Imagine what life would be like if from your very birth you held to the principle of not demonstrating ability. It would be cake with a tall glass of foaming Dr. Pepper, and someone would be spoon-feeding you both. You would still be wearing a diaper, you would weigh 800 pounds (that's 2000 pounds for you Jupiter dwellers!), and your parents would still treat you like your grandparents do - with utter disregard for responsibility and sole purpose to spoil. As it is, I have to peel my own apples, change my own diaper, and write my own blog entries.

Someone: they could get a restraining order.
Mark: restraining orders are probably expensive.
Mario: nah, at least buy one get one free.

Gene (telling a parable): There was this guy once, who had many many adventures. I'm not going to tell you about any of them, because I don't remember a single one.

(Gene is joking about some female spiritual leader)
Gene: She only holds you to five of Moses's Commandements
Boris: what about the other four?