Iron Man and Chuck

Iron Man 3 is on the horizon. I make it a rule to have low expectations for anything that ends with a 3, so I can be pleasantly surprised no matter how bad it is. Usually I do such a good job with the first part that I end up not watching the movie at all. But I don't always have a choice in the matter because frequently all the other movies in a 2 month radius are made in China (I live in Beijing and sadly Chinese film is even more mediocre than the sweetened garbage that comes out of Hollywood), and Yuan Yuan needs to be entertained. Otherwise she'll entertain me, Gladiator style.

Recently we've been on an almost exclusive Chuck diet. I'm usually busy so entertainment hour coincides with feeding time for efficiency. This has interesting side-effects:

1. Yuan Yuan is more likely to volunteer to cook, since I can go without eating meals and she needs her helping of Chuck.

2. I have no idea what anything tastes like anymore, but sometimes I'll find myself cracking up when I put Yuan Yuan to bed and grab a carrot for a midnight snack.

3. Mario has watched more TV in the past month / 2 seasons of Chuck than he has in the 9 months before that. He never admits to watching, and he's really good at looking away just in time when you try to catch him sneaking a peek, but when he's studying the same syllable on the same flashcard before and after the episode, it gives away the game.

Movies

[Spoilers ahead for movies you'll probably never see]

Yesterday I watched The Visitor. This is one of those movies that lends an example to the idea that just because a movie is decent doesn't mean you should ever watch it or will enjoy it in any way. With my taste, lots of movies fall in this category. Some of these are dramas with a central theme of depression or hopelessness or pain, like Crash or Magnolia and especially The Hours, the last being all but unwatchable. Some of these are movies about political turbulence and/or corruption, such as The Interpreter and The Constant Gardener. (There are a couple of exceptions in this second category that manage to escape being "eh'd" by me by virtue of possessing actors I like, such as All the President's Men with Hoffman and Redford)

Then there are movies that are considered good, but you can break your head open and never figure out the reason why. These are movies like Last Orders, which is like watching grass grow, except they've tricked you and given you a looped 5 second clip, so the grass doesn't have a chance. Gosford Park is another resident in this genre. Men especially should stay away from this movie.

And then there are movies like The Visitor, which have a boring past-his-prime dude reevaluating his life with the help of some semi-unusual circumstances. Think Bill Murray in Lost in Translation or Broken Flowers and take away all of his quirkyness. Or Sideways without Thomas Church's comic relief. Throw in some semi-entertaining supporting characters, but then have the main conflict be something excruciatingly boring, in this case deportation.

Actually, I changed my mind. Not about the dull nature of the movie, it's still a pain, but concerning the theme. The Visitor is about male bonding and complications during past-mid-life rebirth. It's about an old man bonding with a young man, borrowing some youthful vigor to restart his stale life, but then floundering around in a tedious plot instead of being allowed to enjoy his newfound youth. Yuck. Give me more young Tom Cruise blockbusters, young Tom Hanks comedies, and if you want to have an old main character, use Jack Nicholson, whose circus acrobat eyebrows can drag even the most boring mess out of the mud. (Except for Prizzi's Honor, shame on you Jack)

Also yesterday, I finished a movie I'd been massaging for the last 2 weeks - Samsara. This was not because it's boring (though it is slow), but because it requires a certain mood to appreciate. Of course this is true for many movies, but I happened to be willing to wait for this one.

The movie is about a monk, born and raised in the monastery. He's a complete badass; the movie begins with him coming out of a three year three month three day three hour and three femtosecond long meditation. Seems like he's set to graduate to Buddha level 6 at least, but then he sees.......a breast. And suddenly, his whole world turns upside down; years worth of hormones set his brain and body on fire. He becomes restless, he brims with desire to experience the world, he wants to possess the forbidden fruit before renouncing it. He leaves the monastery.

Then, for a while, his life is like the average man's dream life. He finds a beautiful girl, it's mutual true love, they get married despite her being engaged to another man, and he's wholeheartedly accepted into his new community. Seven or eight years fly by and he's knee deep in worldly affairs - raising a child, earning more money, etc., and not averse to it all in the least. But then certain circumstances and certain hints about the world are brought to light, such as other people's breasts and death, and he snaps out of the reverie and reevaluates everything again. And here he experiences and manages to convey such profound pain at having to choose between the two worlds (breasts and monasteries), that I managed to identify with him to the edge of tears. Is there a better compliment for a movie than such, from a miser of emotional display?

Home Schooling

I started this book today that's supposed to teach me jazz guitar technique in 20 weeks - rougly 4-5 months. The stated practice regimen was a meager 50 minutes/day so I thought "why not?" Nuh uh. The right answer was "yeah, right! (accompanied by a sarcastic cocking of the left eyebrow)."

Unfortunately this 50 minutes/day claim was another case of false advertising. If you can complete the daily assignments in this book in 50 minutes, you are way beyond needing the book in the first place. No matter. I'm not letting some stupid book, that's not even a real book (it's a pdf), beat me in one sitting. I will give up tomorrow at the earliest.

Came across a couple of funny quotes while surfing GNX3 forums:

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." – Brian W. Kernighan

and

"Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows." - Unknown Smartass

Today, I made the true claim that there are more good actors and actresses. Unfortunately, I not only made it, but voiced it. I was in the car by myself, miles from home, thinking I was safe. No sooner than I uttered the fateful words "women suck," Mom materialized and began exercising her Constitutional right to feminism. I was treated to an interminable lecture on Women in Film starting with 1903's The Great Train Robbery.

Dad is calling me to do pushups. I've been obliging him lately. I hope this is what they mean when they say you should give back to your parents for all those years and dollars they spent raising you and teaching you to be grateful.