VPN virginity taken (cheap)

My flatmate brought a new boy back today and he's been punching her in the funny bone for the last hour. She hasn't stopped giggling since they came back. I hope they have the window open because by my calculations they should be running out of oxygen right about now.


I just popped my VPN cherry, with ExpressVPN no less. My computer's been a most heinous network nazi when it came to sending/receiving anything vaguely important. Wanna download some porn? No problem. Wanna download the latest source code for your project? Sorry, we only support downloading porn. But you can upload the sources you just wrote. No wait, just kidding, you can only upload porn. Yea, the one you just downloaded will do. Thanks...hey you sneaky bastard! You just renamed your project folder into Porn and uploaded a ton of .java files with porn names. I'll let it slide this time but don't think you can fool me twice!

And so on. I accept a little hassle since I'm in the land of the free-to-do-whatever-you're-allowed-to-do but lately conversations with the network have gotten tiresome, repetitive, repetitively tiresome and most of all tiresomely repetitive. (It did bring one more self-descriptive phrase into the universe, however, so there is a small silver lining). Anyway, we'll see in the next few days if ExpressVPN can manage to sneak my shit through the fan.

Women who hate cleaning, a new breed

I tricked myself into going shopping with YY today, as usual at the expense of my sanity. Normally I just flat out refuse...

YY: I need new shoes
Mark: like you need a punch in the face
YY: you need a new jacket
Mark: I just renewed the lease on the old one
YY: you're ugly. Let's cover you up with some clothes
Mark (pokes YY in the eyes): there ya go, all better now!

...but this time I decided to strike a bargain. Maybe it's cause I abandoned all my students in China. That in combination with the well documented fact that teaching instincts tend to flare up every once in a while like a bad case of herpes. Or is it the other way around? Either way, in the spirit of the completely unbalanced deals my parents made with me when I was young, we made a pact: I would go shopping with her for an hour if she read Prelude to Foundation (in Chinese). That'll teach her! I can't wait to see her suffer as she reads that awesome book...


Does bejesus ("you scared the bejesus out of me when you changed your underwear without me asking") have anything to do with Jesus? Cause saying "you scared the Jesus out of me!" just doesn't sound right at all. Scaring the Jesus out of someone...now that's something I need to experience. On both sides of the scared Jesus.


I think my female flatmate might be even lazier than Yuan Yuan, who in turn is even lazier than me when it comes to cleaning, something I would have thought impossible a few years back. But the universe just keeps expanding. There's a double sink in our kitchen, essentially two sinks side by side sharing a wall. My flatmate has had a pot with caked porridge soaking in water there for the last month. The other day I remarked to myself that due to evaporation and drinking (I was thirsty!), soon the water level in the pot would get low enough for the porridge to start rotting again (it already started once, before my flatmate mustered up the energy to pour some water in it). But then I looked again today and it was full almost to the top again! What a beautiful combination of action and procrastination on her part.